Give your daughters the gift of freedom
Sometimes we wish that we were a boy. Don’t we? I may sound silly but you will surely agree with me after reading what I am about to share. It’s true that we as daughters receive unconditional love since childhood. Our every wish was, is, and will be full-filled to the best capacities. But little we knew that such a glow of love will be there only till our childhood. We hardly noticed the transition from ‘Papa ki pari’ to something even I don’t know. Damm, that dad’s little angel vanished from our storybooks.
In our culture, almost every daughter has come across this dialogue – something related to being ‘Paraya dhan’. Even Bollywood movies encourage this. Probably we are a certain ‘new rebellious generation’ who couldn’t stand the utterly ridiculous fact that some people consider us as possessions (dhan). Huh, we are not possessions. First, we are humans, and second, even if our parents created us we are entirely different and supposed to be independent individuals.
Since childhood, we have seen daughters are taught to make peace with everything. A beautiful bond of family is portrayed hiding the countless hardships. Sometimes our mothers would crush their dreams just to look after the family. And other times the people would bare their fangs towards us, expecting us to do the same. The indescribable feeling of having a family hides the truth of the patriarchal society
Surprisingly times are changing and families are accepting the changes. If you belong to a slightly broad-minded family, you can pursue a career. Mark my words a career not ‘Your Career’. Daughters have to live up to their parent’s expectations. Is it always difficult for people to let their daughters have their own identities? Why our future goals pre-decided? Some fight and others submit to their parent’s will. What is right depends on the person and their opinions. But a certain degree of control is always there. It may be high or low.
Our families usually shut our mouth by saying, ‘Humne toh tumhe kbhi nhi roka’ or by saying ‘jo krna hai kro’. It is definitely a narrow path between a cliff and a well. For instance, the type of clothing. We can not wear our choice of clothes. And argument leads to a dialogue of, ‘Do whatever you want after your marriage’. Why do I have to wait for half a dozen years to wear what I like?
Further, We cannot go on trips with our friends (male friends especially). “Go with your husband in the future”. Why? Are we not capable enough to handle ourselves? Do we need a caretaker or a man to look after us? Or you are so afraid of giving us freedom thinking, we will take advantage of it. Yes, it is true because we were never given freedom for even once, and so how should we be able to control our excitement and emotions? Sigh, we should have been free from the beginning and instead of this fuss, we should have been taught about the boundaries. (Locking us in a cage should never have been an option)
All these look a privilege from any women’s gaze. With time we have seen progressive families but they feel that the mentality of the society can’t be changed. Daughters have to work according to society. It happens in my family too. Although they have molded themselves with changing times but carry the same mentality. My mother still believes that God has made some difference between girls and boys and it will persist. No matter how much a country is progressive this difference can’t be wiped out.
It may or may not be true. But what I believe is that it is humans who discriminate between daughters and sons. Parents rejoice if daughters act according to them. But then criticize if they don’t fit in their morality. Concerning our safety is not wrong but that concern has become control. But our overprotective parents cannot save us from the bad that is already written. Instead, teach daughters to be brave.
Dad/Mom, “Why you trust my brother more than me?” Because he doesn’t hide anything unlike you. Did our parents ever try to think of the reason behind it? Boys don’t hide because they can do whatever they want. On the other hand, daughters are subject to many restrictions. They have to do everything secretly because of the fear of their parents.
Let your daughters be free. Let your boys understand girls and vice-versa. It’s time we balance it. Let us help our girls be fearless and teach others some manners and logic. We can protect ourselves without a man and if a man is taught like a woman, the need to protect may never arise. We daughters, girls, women, or any other gender can be a perfectly independent powerhouse and live boldly on our own terms.